Looking for that elusive feeling

In every book I read on the subject of manifestation, belief and faith are central, which I understand. Strong emotion, visualizing, etc... are very important as well. Boy, it's sure hard to feel excited about having what you want when your surroundings or your bank account are screaming otherwise.

I've had plenty of experience (now that I look back on it) with manifesting what I want. Sure I've manifested a lot that I didn't want, but that was totally unconscious. When we aren't paying attention is when we get a lot of stuff we don't want.

Anyway, there have been several times when I've put my mind to something and right away I've experienced this "knowing". It's an aha moment that can't be mistaken. And it can't be manufactured. Once I've experienced that phenomenon, there is no more worrying about the particular outcome. I just know that what I wanted would definitely come to pass. I didn't know how, I just knew it would. After this breakthrough, I feel very light and elated. It's easy then to just sit back and watch events unfold, like turning on the television. I start to see circumstances leading me to that eventuality. A comment here, or an opportunity there, will confirm that my desire is on its way. It truly is amazing.

This hasn't always happened, and I keep trying to remind myself of that. Because right now I'm trying to bring about some changes in my life and I'm not getting that sense of relief I'm after.

I wonder if all the books I've read on the subject of manifestation refer to that inner sense of knowing that I've experienced in the past. Or, as I mentioned, are they manufacturing some feeling by the buildup of emotional pressure and release. I might compare this to what practicing witches might be doing during one of their rituals. I'm not a witch, but I've read books and seen movies. Witches aren't the only group who do this, many church congregations do this, especially evangelicals. When I was in high school I was invited to a mid week church gathering. This was an evangelical group (Which I suspect are highly emotional people. Please forgive me if I'm wrong here.) The topic of the night was how they were going to raise the funds to go on some holiday ski trip. They all stood up and started praying quietly, then the fervor began to escalate into moaning and crying and waving hands all over the place. I felt really uncomfortable and I thought they were behaving rediculously over such an inconsequential thing as a ski trip. But looking back on it, I have no doubt that everyone went who wanted to.

I might mention here that sometimes the fruition of my desire did not always involve a pleasant set of circumstances. For instance, a few years back I wanted to get out of debt. What ended up happening was that my husband's employer decided they were going to move operations to Oregon which meant my husband would be out of a job. We had to sell our house, but in doing so we got out of debt.

Maybe I need to fine-tune my method.